Carole is available for bi-coastal house calls, speaking engagements anywhere, phone consults nationally and internationally. She also sees patients by appointment at Westside Veterinary Center in Manhattan. Her newly-released book (Dec. 2007) is THE COMPLETE GUIDE TO UNDERSTANDING AND CARING FOR YOUR CAT. Her recently released CD of spoken cat advice and soothing music is CARING FOR YOUR CAT, THE WILBOURN WAY. Subscribe to the Wilbourn Way News, Carole's free newsletter.

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CATS ON THE COUCH, Tuesday, February 12, ’08

ORION, AND THE MESSAGE IS IN THE SUBTEXT

Orion decided it was time for another jaunt in the hall. Sometimes we walk together. But for now, I watched as he made his way down the hall. As a neighbor appeared from down the hall, he hardly looked her way. But when she said, “What a sweet, handsome cat you are,” his tail rose high into the air and he walked over to her so she could bend down and stroke him.

My neighbor hit on Orion’s underlying theme. He’s nurtured by praise and appreciation. He’s a cat and may not understand “words” but can easily translate tone of voice and body language. My neighbor’s body relaxed and her tone softened as she admired Orion. There was a mutual exchange of good feelings and Orion had made another friend.

OUR CAT IS PUPPY-TRAUMATIZED

Hello Carole Wilbourn,

I have just adopted a ten-week-old female Labrador puppy who I'm trying to introduce to my two adult cats. Jazz is eight years old and terrified of most people, but can completely hold his own against dogs. He has shown the puppy he’s boss by arching his back and glaring. Now he ignores her but still is very aware of her actions.

On the other hand, Hobbes, who is seven years old, is a very sociable cat and loves being the center of attention. But he's absolutely TERRIFIED of the puppy! We've had the puppy three days now during which Hobbes has hidden upstairs, has barely eaten, and hasn't even attempted to venture out.

We are very worried that if Hobbes does manage to get out the house he'll never come back. What is the best way of introducing Hobbes to the new puppy? The dog isn't boisterous at all and is quite wary in approaching either of the cats. We'd love it if they'd all get along, or even if they tolerated each other.

Thanks!

Shamanthi S.

Hello Guardian Shamanthi,

It sounds like you’ve adopted a very mellow puppy, so I feel Hobbes will soon be puppy-friendly. You’re probably making a big fuss over this new member of your family. Why not? The puppy needs love and reassurance—your point of view and your puppy’s. But this is clearly a classic case of new-puppy competition for attention. Not only is this newcomer a culture shock to your cats, but a potential rival for your affections, as well.

Jazz is more comfortable with the puppy so without too much drama, they will bond and hang out. Because Hobbes is more people-oriented, this new puppy threatens him. Such high energy and always looking for attention, is his point of view. He feels left out and unloved—betrayed. So, this is what you can do to ease and wipe out his angst:

Start mentioning your cats’ names whenever you interact with the puppy (e.g., “Let me feed you so Hobbes and Jazz aren’t interrupted” or “I’m going to feed your puppy so she doesn’t eat your food”). You can also refer to them as “right guys.” The object is to refer to them VERBALLY whenever you must talk or interact with the puppy so they are included in the conversation. They must feel “in charge” and in control—otherwise, they will be out of control. Hobbes’ behavior is a clear example of this.
Don’t be sugary or patronizing in your tone or body language. The more casual and authentic you are, the sooner Hobbes will unwind.
It would be best to put the puppy in a crate or in a gated area so the cats can interact with her freely without any chance of being physical harmed.
My CD (http://www.thecattherapist.com/) will relax all of you. It can be your continuous mantra.

Good luck to you with your cats’ new puppy, and you will find additional information in my new book The Complete Guide to Understanding and Caring for Your Cat.

OUR KITTEN WANTS TO EAT OUR PARROT

Hello Carole,

Please help! We recently lost our nineteen-year-old cat to cancer and adopted a new kitten who is about four months old. We have a smaller parrot, a Pionus. This kitten is obsessed with our bird. Otherwise, he is a PERFECT fit for our house. How can we help him to understand the parrot is not a chicken snack?

Our bird has no fear of the kitten since he grew up with a cat. I have not left the two out together, but the obsession is so bad that I can hardly have the bird out as well. Will time help?

Thanks,

Michelle

Hello Guardian Michelle,

TIME may be the key to forming a peaceful interaction. In the meantime, keep your parrot safe from the kitten, but let the kitten see that the parrot is a friend, not a meal or a foe. When you give attention to the parrot, praise your kitten and even mention the parrot when you play with the kitten so the kitten will form a positive association. My CD (http://www.thecattherapist.com) will add a calming force. Happy bonding!

Dear Reader: Refer to TESTIMONIALS for the outcome of Michelle’s dilemma.

MY TWO CATS ARE AT ODDS

Hello Carole,

I have two cats. The other night one of them ran away but returned the next morning. Now my other cat will not go near him. He makes awful cries and hides under the bed. I know he’s upset because he urinated under the bed. That’s not like him at all. These two cats are like brothers—loving brothers. They’ve been together since they were kittens. What is going on here? Please help.

Sarah

Dear Guardian Sarah,

Your runaway cat smells alien to his companion. He might have been somewhat anxious when he returned. Your other cat was “zinged” or affected by this angst. He was threatened and became fearful. His companion was now “the enemy”.

WAYS TO DEFUSE THE ANGST:

Do what you can to relax yourself because this adds to the mix. Breathe freely and perhaps some music will help you to unwind.
Keep them separated for a while and spend time with each of them. You can rub your runaway cat with a towel and let your other cat get a whiff of it before you rub his body over. This should neutralize the scent.
Once your frightened cat becomes relaxed, offer them some catnip—if they enjoy it. You might try to engage them in play with a favorite toy.

Repeat this regimen a few times. Slowly but surely, you should see progress.

ROXY AND HER FERAL KITTENS

Hello Carole,

I recently found and trapped a mama cat, who I've named Roxy, along with her three feral kittens.

Roxy is very happy to be a house cat again, and has adjusted extremely well. She has done a complete turnaround--from an anxious, hissing, spitting, very scared mommy worried about her kittens, to a wonderfully sweet, caring, and social kitty. She has even taken in my nine-month-old kitten that chirps at her and engages in grooming sessions.

My nine-month-old Sugar has also taken in the kittens. He and my other three-year-old male, Baby, are very experienced and tolerant, surrogate-kitty-companions! The kittens are perhaps a little under four months old. Two of the three kittens, Pixie and Little Mister (both females) have warmed up to me slightly, whereas they tolerate being within a few feet of me, and do not run and hide if I walk around my room, as long as I don't make eye contact or walk towards them. The third kitten, Punk, who is a male, is extremely frightened, and easily scared and always seems to be scurrying back into my closet whenever I get to see him.

I sit on the floor several times a day, allowing the kittens to watch me pet and play with Sugar, Roxy, and sometimes Baby. I also give them treats while I sit on the floor, and they are willing to eat within a foot or so of me, except Punk. I usually have to put his plate in the closet.

I've been gradually getting them used to having my hand on the floor next to them, though I can tell it makes them very nervous and very cautious of me. I've had a lot of success using a Cat Dancer with Sugar, Roxy, and her three kittens, getting them to all sit along the side of my bed and play. So far it has taken a few weeks to get to the point I am at now, and I would like to find them homes as soon as possible.

Roxy is already completely adoptable, but I am worried that if she were to leave, the example she sets by being affectionate towards me will lose all influence on her kittens. Is there a quicker and more effective way to bring about the kittens’ sociability than I have been doing so far?

Nikki
Chicago

Hello Guardian Nikki,

You are doing a fabulous job with your sizable catdom. If you have placement for Mother Roxy, Sugar and Baby can become the surrogate mother figures and role models for the kittens. The kittens will see that Sugar and Baby trust you and will soon mirror their interaction.

Reassure Punk. Tell him he’s becoming so brave and confident. Your tone will inspire him.

You might even put Sugar or Baby in the closet with Punk so they can eat together. After a few repeats, move their food slowly out of the closet.

I wish you the very best of luck and thank you for your compassion and wonderful work.

SEBASTIAN IS OVER THE RAINBOW

Dear Carole,

Men and their cats winner Sebastian has passed on

This morning, Sebastian, previous winner of your "Men and their Cats" contest ("The Stray Who Would Be King"), lost his long battle with FIV.

He did not have the slow decline we were expecting, but had lost about a third of his body weight. Indeed, just last night he was playful, purring loudly, and aggressively challenging the dog for a portion of our dinner.

Early this morning he was having difficulty, was unable to stand on his own, and was in pain. We rushed him to the local animal hospital, and found out he had internal clotting that they could not operate on. My wife and I made the decision to save him as much pain as we could, and stayed by him to the end.

Sebastian turned out to be a friend who cannot be replaced.

Our solace is that he was able to have a safe, comfortable home for the last few years, after so many years on the streets as a stray.

He was my beloved friend, companion, furry hot-water bottle, alarm clock, and teacher.

We will miss him terribly.

Thank you for giving him his moment of fame, and letting his story be heard.

Sincerely,

Justin and Lesley Hodgdon

Dear Guardians Lesley and Justin:

On behalf of the staff of IDA, I would like to thank you for being such loyal and loving guardians to your Sebastian and for sending him over the Rainbow with love and dignity.

My deepest sympathy,

Carole Wilbourn

I can't answer every email I receive, so please check the archives. Your answer may be already there. Remember, please add a picture of your cat along with your cat questions.