Carole is available for bi-coastal house calls, speaking engagements anywhere, phone consults nationally and internationally. She also sees patients by appointment at Westside Veterinary Center in Manhattan. Her latest book is The Complete Guide To Understanding And Caring For Your Cat. Her recently released CD of spoken cat advice and soothing music is Caring For Your Cat, The Wilbourn Way.
Come back to Carole's home page monthly for cat news and Carole's most recent replies to behavior inquiries from worried cat guardians. To have this home page emailed to you after the story update, click here. You will receive this exact page by email, and it will link you to the other pages in her site, and to the rest of the IDA web site.
CATS ON THE COUCH, January ’09
THE MESSAGE IS IN THE SUBTEXT
It had been a trying day. I was presented with some difficult
cases and began reflecting upon the various problems. Needless to say, my body felt a bit tense, and my head started to throb. And then to my great delight, my cat Orion provided me with immediate relief. One glance at his photo and you’ll know why “Mr. Solace” is such a fitting nickname. Instead of mirroring my angst, he chose to exude comfort. It was contagious. My face relaxed and I started to smile and my breath unknotted.
SHOULD I ADOPT A KITTEN?
Hello Carole,
I need your expert cat advice. I have three older cats. Raoul is fourteen, Francis (Frank) is nine, and Juan is 11. Juan was adopted as a senior at ten years old, and acclimated right away with Frank and Raoul.
Raoul is aging well and is still very playful. He is on arthritis meds, and will be getting dental work shortly after another blood test. Raoul is black, and Frank and Juan are of the same color and very close. Raoul used to be very chummy with Gomez, a cat whom I had many years ago who was also black.
I have an opportunity to get a black kitten who will be weaned at ten weeks. Frank and Juan are basically "bookends" and best friends. I've got a large place. My friends say they can barely tell I have three cats
because they're never around when guests come over, and my place always looks and smells nice. I've been told that kittens help cats stay young. I feel weird about having four cats because I already have a spinster complex. I'm also worried Raoul may feel jealous. I don’t want him to feel old or replaced. On the flip side I know my cats will love to play with and papa a kitten. That is the primary reason I want to add one to the mix. What do you think?
Thank you,
Sandra
Hello Guardian Sandra,
You have a very handsome trio. A quartet might be much more fun. A very playful and healthy kitten will keep your guys busy. It's paramount that they bond with the kitten before you do. If not, they will feel betrayed and anxious.
I recommend that you follow The Wilbourn Way of Introduction of a Kitten to Your Cats:
INTRODUCTION DAY
- Arrange for someone the cats don’t know to escort the kitten in while you and your cats are enclosed in another room.
- The newcomer can be left in a carrier in the bathroom or a small room with the door slightly ajar, and the lid to the carrier should be left open.
ARRANGE TIME AWAY FROM HOME
- Once the newcomer is left at your place the escort should depart, and you should say good-bye to your cats, leaving the house without acknowledging the newcomer. Be prepared to stay out for at least a few hours. Have fun! This will give your cats the time they need to get acquainted with the newcomer without your influence. Remember, the kitten is for them, so they should be the kitten’s first and major source of connection.
WHEN YOU RETURN HOME
- When you return home, concentrate on your cats. Let them take care of the kitten.
- Act as though the kitten is "invisible." If you must address the kitten, tell your cats you’re doing so on their behalf, and address them directly: "Guys, let me feed the kitten so you don’t have to do it, or I’m taking him off the table on your behalf." You must include them verbally whenever you interact with the kitten so they feel in control. If not, they’ll be out of control. The more you’re out of the encounter; the quicker the kitten will win their acceptance. If you take care of the kitten, they won’t.
BEDTIME
- The kitten can join you at bedtime as long as your other cats are in agreement. But if the kitten keeps them away from your bed, you can put the kitten in the bathroom or a small cozy room with all of his comforts. Even if they never sleep with you, your bed is out of bounds for the kitten. You can close your bedroom door so they can all hang out wherever they choose. But not to worry Sandra. If you follow these recommendations, they will work it out, and the five of you may soon be all sleeping happily together.
REMEMBER: Don’t think your cats can’t sense that you’re stroking the kitten—even if they can’t see you.
HAPPY DAYS FOR ALL OF YOU
Before you know it, they’ll be playing with the kitten and even grooming him. Ten days from the day that this occurs and is in full swing, you, too, can give affection to the kitten, but remember to say “Right guys, what a great kitten . You’ve done a super job with him or just “Right guys.” The idea is to keep them in the LOOP so they’ll feel forever connected.
Sandra, have patience, and remember that you’re ignoring the kitten so there’s a happy ending, and you’re not doing so to be mean-spirited. I know you are a fine guardian and this will be a jubilant way to start ’09.
WHAT ABOUT OTTO?
Hello Carole,
You’ve helped me before, and I’m hoping that you’ll have a solution for me now. My friend has a twelve-year-old cat named Otto who’s a real love bug. I’d like to adopt him from her. He’s about six pounds with soft and shiny fur but has an unbearable odor. I thought the odor was coming from his teeth, but my friend claims his teeth are fine, and that the odor is coming from his belly. I do know that he urinates outside of his litter box so he’s definitely in discomfort.
I am the guardian of three cats: one is three-legged and FIV-positive; another was feral and is now totally transformed; and I have a pretty tuxedo female who is a dream. I realize I would have to have Otto checked out thoroughly by a vet before I brought him home and would probably have to sequester him from my cats for a while.
Do you think this would work? I feel I can give Otto the help he needs that my friend is incapable of giving at this time.
Many thanks,
Veda
Hello Guardian Veda,
Thanks for keeping up with my work. It is so very generous of you to want to help Otto, your friend’s cat, and it’s unfortunate you can’t give him the help he needs without a change in his home. But be that as it may, Otto, as you mentioned, has to be thoroughly vetted. His physical condition and symptoms bring to mind many different problems—diet digestive difficulties, bladder or kidney problems, a thyroid or cardiac dysfunction, or even some sort of mass. Otto is a senior cat, and age makes him more vulnerable.
Whichever vet you choose will probably want to do blood chemistries, and a sonogram or at least x-rays. If Otto’s diagnosis doesn’t preclude taking him to your home, here are some recommendations for the transition:
- Prepare a small, cozy, sunny room for Otto’s arrival. Set up gates or a screen door in the doorway to the room so they can all see each other without physical contact. Otherwise, your cats will be wary and suspicious whenever you enter Otto’s space.
- Don’t talk to your cats about Otto before his arrival. A cat does not like to be manipulated. But once Otto is set up in his room, mention their names whenever you interact with him so they’ll feel included. It’s not that they’ll actually understand your words, but it’s hearing their names that will neutralize your actions.
- A cat-friendly heating pad might be a comfort to Otto, especially since he’s so thin.
- Veda, this will get your guardian role with Otto started, and I wish you the best. May he rally quickly. Your trio may fancy becoming a quartet.
OUR KITTEN IS A MISBEHAVER.
Hi Carole,
I have an eighteen-week-old kitten who is extremely curious. She frequently climbs my jeans and digs her nails into my skin. I have yelled at her while she is climbing, pulled her off, dropped her to the floor, and squirted her with water. I don't know what else to do. She also keeps hanging out on my counters. We don't let her out, but she has swiftly dashed out of the house whenever we leave or enter.
We have three other kittens. One is her brother, and the other two are unrelated but close in age. They rarely act out. The three kittens sleep and play together. Bonnie Bon Bons is becoming Bonnie Bad Bad. What can I do to help her understand this is unacceptable behavior?
Thank you,
Lorrie
Hi Guardian Lorrie,
Your Bonnie is certainly a mover and a shaker. For starters, don’t emphasize her quirks by re-naming her Bonnie Bad Bad. Let’s change her image. Perhaps Bonnie Good Kitty would make you feel good when you say it, and the feeling would be passed on to Bonnie by your tone of voice and body language.
Before she climbs your jeans or acts out, give a sharp, loud, dramatic "NO." LET your body echo this command so she knows you mean it. Distract her with the toss of a toy. When she’s particularly cuckoo and out of control, escort her to a small room to unwind and calm down. As you close the door, tell her she needs this time to herself. Bonnie needs a lot of playing with the other kittens. Tunnels made of paper bags, ladders, or a cat tree to climb, as well as the waving of a laser light or flashlight for her to chase will help to work out her exuberance and high energy.
When you’re going out the front door, throw her a toy in the opposite direction so she doesn’t take off. Whenever you return, open the door slowly so you can move her out of the way if she’s by the door. You might think of Bonnie as a wonderful source of entertainment.
QUESTIONS TO CAROLE
If you have a question for Carole, you can email her at thecattherapist@idausa.org. We’re sorry that Carole won’t be able to answer all questions, but the answers to many questions can be found in her IDA archives.
Oscar the Cat Predicts Death
Oscar is the feline resident at a nursing home in Providence, Rhode Island who seems to have predicted the deaths of 25 of the residents. In case after case, when he has curled up next to someone, it usually means they have less than four hours of life left. I was interviewed about Oscar by NBC-TV. Read all about Oscar on their site. To watch my video, click here.
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