Carole is available for bi-coastal house calls, speaking engagements anywhere, phone consults nationally and internationally. She also sees patients by appointment at Westside Veterinary Center in Manhattan. Her latest book is The Complete Guide To Understanding And Caring For Your Cat. Her recently released CD of spoken cat advice and soothing music is Caring For Your Cat, The Wilbourn Way.
Come back to Carole's home page monthly for cat news and Carole's most recent replies to behavior inquiries from worried cat guardians. To have this home page emailed to you after the story update, click here. You will receive this exact page by email, and it will link you to the other pages in her site, and to the rest of the IDA web site.
THE WILBOURN WAY (AKA Cats on the Couch)
June, 2011
NYC PET SHOW
INTRODUCTION OF A DOG FOR OUR CAT
Orion and I were delighted to meet so many of you, my dear readers, when we gave our presentation on “Catitude.” One of our topics was the “The Wilbourn Way of Introductions,” which led to a question from a couple who had a rather recalcitrant female kitty. They wondered if they could possibly adopt a dog. Their impression was that she had an abysmal track record with the cats with whom she lived with before they adopted her, but she might tolerate a dog? I told them that a dog would be less threatening for their feisty feline, because there would be less competition with another species. They could adopt a neutered male dog who was cat-friendly but not too cat-playful. If too enthusiastic, she might object to the exuberance and reject the dog. Many shelters and rescue groups have cat-friendly dogs, so they wouldn’t have to start with a puppy. They were pleased that they could possibly give a home to an older dog and I was pleased with such thinking.
NEW YORK OPEN CENTER
Please join Orion and me for a special two-evening presentation of THE TOTAL CAT—Healthy Solutions for Hard-To-Resolve Issues. I will work with one cat at each of the two sessions. Contact the Open Center for your cat to be considered. Otherwise, please leave your kitty at home. Guests include a staff member of IDA who will speak on the many benefits being a "guardian" instead of an "owner."
WHERE: New York Open Center, 22nd East 30th Street
WHEN: Wednesday, July 20th and 27th, 8-10:00 p.m.
Contact: 212-219-2527 ext. 2. For more information, visit www.opencenter.org.
THE MESSAGE IS IN THE SUBTEXT
I WANT TO BE ALONE BUT...
My Orion gives a two-fold message in his hideaway at the front of my bed. He wants to be alone, but now and again he wants me to lift the bedspread so I can stroke his head and nuzzle him under his chin.
EQUAL OPPORTUNITY IN THE WHITE HOUSE
(Orion, a former rescue, will represent cats and offer nuggets of wisdom regarding Bo, the rescued First Dog—a Portuguese Water Dog.)
SCOOP THE POOP
When President Obama was answering questions at an elementary school, he told the kids how when he took Bo for a walk, he would scoop Bo’s poop. Eeeeeeew was the children’s reaction, but Mr. Obama set them straight: “If you have a dog, you must walk your dog and clean up after your dog.” One more example of how Bo’s role as First Dog contributes to kids’ education. Go Bo.
DONATIONS FOR THE ELEPHANTS
Many of the guardians who attended the pet show were accompanied by their dogs. It was, indeed, a dogmospheric event. I spent the remainder of the afternoon speaking to cat guardians along with giving Reiki treatments to both guardians and their dogs on behalf of abused elephants in zoos. It was quite a multi-species event. I felt very privileged to make a difference.
MY MAUDE CRIES AND ATTACHES HERSELF TO MY BODY
(Separation Anxiety, New Home)
Hi Carole,
I’m newly married and now live in a three-story house with my cat Lucy and my spouse. But woe is me. If my Lucy isn’t on my lap or beside me, she wails. She even tries to tackle me whenever I’m not in a position where she can be on me or beside me. She’s always been affectionate, but this is over the top. She likes my husband and has known him for three years. Sometimes she’ll strike an attitude with him but will now and again hang out on his lap. This house is quite a bit larger than my apartment, which was Lucy’s only home. She’s five years old, spayed and in good health. Her appetite is healthy, and she’s still her playful self if I participate. But Lucy’s distraught behavior has been going on for three weeks, and I do hope you can give me some clues on how I can get my Lucy to feel better. By the way, I work at home so Lucy sees much more of me than even my husband.
Thanks,
Maude
Hi guardian Maude,
Congratulations from all of us at IDA on your recent nuptials. Now we will relieve your Lucy’s angst so she can chill, and you will mirror her relief. Maude, there have been so many changes in your life—your marriage, a new expansive house, and your spouse is now there on a permanent basis. Lots of cultural shock not only for Lucy but for the three of you. She is especially overwhelmed by this new situation. After all, Lucy wasn’t in on the decision-making, and we know how much cats like to call the shots.
Maude, here’s a “Lucy”-designed program to increase her stress tolerance so she slowly and gently adapts to her new lifestyle.
- Sit down with Lucy on your lap, and your husband beside you.
- Start a conversation about the comforts of living together and the many advantages of your new home. This conversation should last for at least 30 minutes, and you can repeat small snatches of it after that so Lucy is embraced by your feelings. But don’t tell Lucy she must be happy. Be objective so Lucy makes the decision to “let go” by herself. A cat doesn’t take to a dictatorship. This conversation will also chip away at any of your residual doubts or angst in this dramatic change.
- Spend time with her in each room. Remember to relax your body and breathe freely. You can read or meditate. Whatever relaxes you will relax your Lucy.
-Purchase a baby carrier so that Lucy can be next to you as you go about your day. You might like to create a baby sling yourself out of a cozy, durable, washable fabric. As you sense her becoming more relaxed, you can very, very slowly wean her off of this support.
-Whenever you change your action, e.g., standing, sitting, answering the phone, verbalize the change so Lucy isn’t taken by surprise. You don’t want to add to her stress, and she’ll feel acknowledged when you confide in her.
-Maude, you might want to consider a companion for Lucy. I would recommend a young male kitten or an older male who adored feline company. You could use The Wilbourn Way introduction. Refer to my archives at the top of page, and look for January. 2009.
I’m available for Reiki treatments for you and Lucy. You can visit my Web site for more information. Chin up Maude, the three of you are at the start of a splendid new chapter.
THE ELEPHANTS NEED YOUR HELP
You can help prevent the sale of elephant ivory. Please visit http://www.idausa.org
You can now follow Carole on Twitter.
QUESTIONS TO CAROLE
Please consult with your veterinarian first to make certain that your animal companion's problem is not due to any medical condition.
If you have a question for Carole, you can email her at thecattherapist@idausa.org. We're sorry that Carole won't be able to answer all questions, but the answers to many questions can be found in her IDA archives.
Oscar the Cat Predicts Death
Oscar is the feline resident at a nursing home in Providence, Rhode Island who seems to have predicted the deaths of 25 of the residents. In case after case, when he has curled up next to someone, it usually means they have less than four hours of life left. I was interviewed about Oscar by NBC-TV. Read all about Oscar on their site. To watch my video, click here.
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