Carole is available for bi-coastal house calls, international phone consults and her current book is THE TOTAL CAT (Quill). She also sees appointments at Westside Veterinary Center in Manhattan. Subscribe to Carole's free newsletter on her website by clicking onto www.thecattherapist.com/wilbourn_way.htm
Tuesday, June 14, '05
» MONTREAL CATS
I was recently in Montreal and stayed at the Ritz Carlton, an animal friendly hotel, where I can see feline appointments for those who don't choose house calls. As I checked in, one of the guests was accompanied by his Poodle. Didn't notice any cats. But one of my appointments was a senior cat named Kiki. It was a follow up visit. I had treated Kiki for the single cat syndrome. She was testy and often greeted people with a scowl and a nip. I had recommended a kitten to involve and work out her energy. But when one of her guardians developed asthma, a second cat was out of the question. Kiki had slept with her two guardians when their daughter wasn't home but this was no longer an option. So, at one of Kiki's sessions we made an audio tape with Kiki on the daughter's bed while she stroked and talked to Kiki. They were to play this tape frequently so Kiki would form a positive association with it. Then when the daughter was away or had a sleep-over, the tape could be played (continuous play) in her bedroom so Kiki would feel the daughter's presence. I'm happy to say that Kiki has responded wonderfully and her tape fills in for her “absent” person.» WHEN YOUR CAT TALKS
You are welcome to attend my class at the 92 Street Y in Manhattan:Wednesday July 13, at 6:30 p.m. - 8:00 p.m.
For more info., click on to www.92Y.org or phone 212-415-5500. I look forward to seeing you.
» YOUR CAT'S WELFARE AND SAFETY
With the warm weather on its way, you want to be sure to protect your cat from falls from an unscreened terrace or from loss or other hazards if your cat goes outdoors. Log on to my web site thecattherapist.com and click on to KITTYWALK SYSTEMS for inspiration.» CAROLE’S NEWSLETTER
The Wilbourn Way Newsletter is Carole’s free email newsletter, which brings you Carole's personal view on cat culture monthly. Click on to her website (www.thecattherapist.com/wilbourn_way.htm) for more details.»
CAT TELECONFERENCES Would you like to participate in a 90 minute teleconference on cat behavior with other cat lovers who also have questions and concerns? Click on to her website (www.thecattherapist.com/cat_teleconference.htm) for more details.» CAT EVENTS
MONTREAL: I will be in Montreal June 3-5. If you would like to arrange to contact me there, you can e-mail to dick@thecattherapist.com or phone 212-741-0397.NEW YORK CITY: July 12, 92 Street Y Seminar
NEW YORK CITY: August 10 and 17, The Open Center
Click on to my web site for more details.
MEN HAVE YOU ENTERED MY MEN AND CATS CONTEST?
» NEW CONTEST - "MEN AND THEIR CATS"
More and more men are becoming smitten with cats. They are no longer just a female or family companion. I'd like to find out from you guys why you decided to live with a cat and how your cat inspires you and makes you feel good. Click here to learn out about the new contest.
»
SELECTED INTIMACY TIMES
I have two adorable Bluepoint Siamese, brother and sister, born on my birthday, two years ago today. I don't know how I could be without them. G-d help me if I don't wake up by 6:00 every morning...because the male ("Nahmee" for Namaste) will start pouncing on me, more than a game. The female (Shanti) is more reticent and hides when anybody comes to the house. Both love to be petted. The little girl loves to be brushed and they have trained me to "leave the house" everyday so that they can receive their treat (feeding only dry food), which, of course, is "their due" and is expected. Even though both cats are affectionate they both object to being "picked up" or for me to hold them. What is the reason for this? Can this be changed? The little girl cat actually cries if I attempt to pick her up and yet they both, at different times, "snuggle up to me" when they want to.
Thanks, Irwin B
Dear Guardian Irwin:
Sounds like your cats are particularly selective about "their intimacy". Try picking them up when you're sitting on the floor because your body will be relaxed. Hold them loosely and gently. Next, let them go and praise them. A brushing would be a plus if they like to be brushed. Try repeating this at least several times to reinforce positive feelings. Catnip may also be an incentive. Have fun!
»
PUDDLES OF URINE
I wonder if you can help. My darling ginger cat, Barnabus, is a lovely fellow whom my husband and I adopted just over two years ago when he was ten months old at the time and very shy. While he took to us and our girl cat, Nokie, quite quickly, it took him a long time to come out of his shell. Over the past few months he has become much more friendly and affectionate. The habit he hasn't given up is leaving puddles on our clothes. When we first brought him home, it was a daily occurrence. His mishaps aren't as frequent as they used to be, but despite our best attempts, he continues to "go" on our clothes, towels and bed sheets when he can. Any advice you could offer would be greatly appreciated! Thanks so much!
Hollis Pilling
Dear Guardian Hollis:
Barnabus' puddles are a lingering symptom of anxiety and insecurity. He’s certainly gained in confidence but he's still "needy". The soft surfaces comfort him and remind him of MOM when she nursed and snuggled with him. Provide him with a second litter box with "puppy pads" or strips of paper towels. Praise him whenever he uses either box. Also have a urinalysis done to rule out medical problems and a bladder sensitive food would be advisable. You can visit my site,
www.thecattherapist.com, for more information.
»
WHAT'S ALL THE FIGHTING ABOUT?
(Separation Anxiety)
My mother's 10 year old cat has lived with me for the past two years and within a week of my 17 year old dog passing away the cat has had three fights in our garden, possibly one in the kitchen. Are the neighboring cats aware of the passing and pushing their luck or is my mom's cat making some kind of stand. Do you think she misses the dog and also has a daft idea to think about getting another cat, safety in numbers and all that?
Al
Dear Guardian Alison:
So sorry about your dog. But she did have a long life with you. Yes, I do think your cat misses her and, of course, you do and she is affected by your feelings. So, we're dealing with separation anxiety which makes her vulnerable. She becomes the tension target of neighboring cats. The right new companion would distract her and safety can increase with numbers.
You might get her a male kitten or older cat that is cat-oriented and would instinctively bond first with your cat. If you adopt a dog, one that's similar to your late dog would be a good choice. You are, indeed, a caring and perceptive guardian.
Tuesday, June 28, '05
Last week I was a guest on the Leonard Lopate radio
show. It was a terrific interview. He asked some very insightful questions
and there was a listener's call in. One of the questions was how to soothe
a cat who was in mourning for his late companion? The despondent cat was
FIV positive so a new feline companion was out of the question. One of my
suggestions was to adopt a cat-friendly dog or puppy or to arrange visits
from a friend's dog as a distraction for the cat in mourning. I also
suggested they could arrange to have someone pay a visit to their cat on
days when they'd be home late. New toys, catnip, daily brushing, lavender
potpourri (has a calming affect) and a vet visit to make sure there wasn't
a recent medical problem. I emphasized that anything the person did to
pamper herself would help to cheer up her cat—because a cat is so
sensitive to his or her guardian's feelings and actions. If you'd like to
listen to the show click on to
Remember, please add a
picture of your cat along with your cat questions.
Check out CATS RULE latest new covered litter box, with a cat head shaped opening, available online www.catsrule.com and at Petco for $50.
I read about Cats Rule's products in Julia Szabo's Pet Column in Sunday's N.Y. POST, a great source for cat lovers.
» CATS AND THE LEONARD LOPATE SHOW
http://www.wnyc.org/shows/lopate/archive.html?month=200506
and scroll down to Stemming the Tide Friday, June 17, 2005.
» CAT EVENTS
MONTREAL: I will be in Montreal June 3-5. If you would
like to arrange to contact me there, you can e-mail to dick@thecattherapist.com
or phone 212-741-0397.
NEW YORK CITY: July 12, 92 Street Y Seminar
NEW YORK CITY: August 10 and 17, The Open Center
Click on to my web site for more details.
MEN HAVE YOU ENTERED MY MEN
AND CATS CONTEST?
MALE AND FEMALE DIFFERENCES
»
Dear Cats
On The Couch:
What's the difference between girl and boy cats' behavior? I just got a
kitten, and was told that it was a girl. I, initially, wanted a boy
because I like big cats and my experience has been that boy cats usually
grow to be bigger than girl cats. What do you think and what can I expect?
Kacey S.
Dear Guardian Kacey:
Well now, I guess this is your opportunity to find out from personal
living experience how a female or girl cat behaves. I don't feel you can
generalize and say that all females act this way and males act that way.
It really depends on the individual cat's catsonality. I have found that
it's usually easier to put two older, neutered males together than two
spayed females because female rivalry becomes a big issue. Males, most of
the time, are more flexible. You'll soon discover if your female kitten is
very feminine, athletic, shy or maybe a vast combination of traits. I will
tend to agree with you that males usually grow to be bigger than females.
But often less is more.
»
WHAT DOES A SPAY SCAR LOOK LIKE?
Hi,
We adopted a stray cat who the vet says is about a year old. He shaved her
belly to see if there was a spay scar, but at the time, we couldn’t see
one. When I got home, however, I looked again and do see a small scar
maybe about 1⁄4 inch long on her stomach. I have no idea what a spay
scar looks like. The vet says to wait and see if she goes into heat or
gets fat. It’s been about 19 days since we have kept her in the house
and she doesn’t have any signs of going into heat. Are there any
pictures that I can look at to determine if this is a spay scar?
Frances
Dear Guardian Frances:
Sounds like the scar may be too small to have been an incision for a spay.
But you can always make a call to your vet and ask about it to
double-check. Sometimes the incision for surgery for an ovariohysterectomy
(spay) is made on the female’s side. However, I think your vet gave you
good advice. Rolling from side to side, constant meowing, tail shooting up
in the air and avoiding the litter box are often heat signals. But
sometimes a cat can have a silent heat. Keep in touch with your vet and if
you do let your cat out, accompany her in an enclosed area. Let's hope
this puzzle is soon solved.
»
NEW KITTEN THREAT
Dear
Carole:
I have an eighteen months old spayed female named Nancy who has always
been a bit anti- social. She moved in with us at six weeks. She came from
a litter born outside but ate inside; and was a bit of trouble to catch.
Nancy was welcomed by my older male neutered cat and they eventually got
on well. She has always been a bit stand-off-ish to my boyfriend. She
sometimes urinates in his closet and she won't interact much with him but
she’s okay with me. Yet, I've never been able to hold her for more than
three seconds before she wants down.
About two weeks ago, a tiny kitten came wondering by our door and
basically walked right in. We were going to give her away so we didn't
upset our two cats but she is the most amazing tempered kitten and does
everything right. Nancy had warmed up a bit to her but has started hiding
and only comes out to eat—even then she is spooked. She’s also become
very aggressive. What's the best solution?
Cujo
Dear Guardian Cujo:
Nancy feels betrayed by this NEWCOMER. Because she is already insecure,
the kitten's presence has thrown her over the edge. So now poor Nancy is
totally out of control. Because your two cats had lived together in
harmony until now, it sounds like THREE is not a good number. The best
solution would be to find the kitten a new home with a cat or kitten that
will appreciate her. She sounds so terrific that this should be easy. Why
not place her with a friend or relative so you can have visiting rights.
If you absolutely can't part with her, you can refer to my archives for
information (A Super Anti-Social Cat, May 2004; The Cat Who Wasn’t
There, July 2004; Untouchable, December 2004; Unloving Cat, January 2005)
and to my book THE TOTAL CAT. But it was so good of you to take the kitten
in.
»
CULTURE SHOCK
Dear
Carole:
We have two young neutered and spayed cats who were inseparable until we
moved from an apartment to a house. After the move, Jasper and Dawn, our
two cats, stayed away from each other and weren't great with us. They
slowly returned to their old habits after we introduced a young Dachshund.
In fact, Jasper loves to play with the dog. So now that they are fine with
us and the dog, why are they uncomfortable and hostile when we have
visitors? Another problem is that Jasper tries to run outside whenever he
can
and he's always been an indoor cat. Help!
Shelley
Dear Guardian Shelley:
Jasper and Dawn's relationship was rocky when you moved to your new home
because they were overwhelmed by the new and vast space. The culture shock
made them anxious. The dog was a distraction and brought them together.
They are still anxious and it surfaces when you have company. When you
have visitors, Jasper and Dawn should be kept where they don't have to
socialize with the visitors. In time, they will become more confident and
won't be so vulnerable. You might look into an outdoors enclosure if
Jasper continues to dart out the door. You can click on to my site (thecattherapist.com)
and click on to Kitty Walk. Enjoy your new house.
» APPEARANCES
"HOW TO TALK TO YOUR CAT" AT 92ND STREET Y IN JULY
Carole will present her seminar "How To Talk To Your Cat" at the 92nd Street
Y in Manhattan, on Wednesday, July 13, 2005, from 6:30 to 8:00 PM. This class was just agreed upon, so it isn't on their web site yet, but
should appear there shortly. Visit http://www.92y.org later for tickets,
location, etc.
Carole is available for bi-coastal house calls, international phone consults and her current book is THE TOTAL CAT (Quill). She also sees appointments at Westside Veterinary Center in Manhattan. Subscribe to Carole's free newsletter on her website by clicking onto www.thecattherapist.com/wilbourn_way.htm
» For MORE INFO, ask the cat therapist
