Carole is available for bi-coastal house calls, international phone consults and her current book is THE TOTAL CAT (Quill). She also sees appointments at Westside Veterinary Center in Manhattan. Subscribe to Carole's free newsletter on her website by clicking onto www.thecattherapist.com/wilbourn_way.htm
March 22, 2005
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REMI'S FAREWELL'Remi was such a beautiful and dear cat,' said Lynn. He had rallied for another week but then the bottom fell out and he was let go with the assistance of his veterinarian. Now I was doing a session with Riley, Remi's fifteen-years- old Persian companion. Since Remi's demise, Riley stayed close to Lynn and Gary. But they worked long hours so poor Riley was at a loss without his Remi. He had always looked after Remi and was combo papa, mentor and Remi's idol. Riley loved to take charge. He was truly the 'Lion King'.
A kitten would certainly relieve his malaise. I recommended that they adopt a young male kitten that resembles the late Remi, who was very playful and adores other cats. They could use my introduction, which is to arrange for an escort to bring the kitten, leave in an open carrier in the bathroom with the door slightly ajar and the escort would immediately exit. Lynn, Gary and Riley would be in another room with the door closed. When they heard the escort leave, they would open the door so Riley could move about. They would leave and remain away for several hours. During this time Riley would be in charge. Upon their return, they would concentrate on Riley and ignore the kitten. This bothered Lynn. “But won't the kitten need attention,'' she asked / I explained that Riley would supply the attention. If they did, the kitten wouldn't bond quickly with Riley and he would resent the kitten. If they had to interact with the kitten, they should say; “We're doing this for the kitten on your behalf.” This way Riley would feel connected, in charge and in control. “But when can we interact affectionately with the kitten,” Lynn asked/ 'Ten days from the first day Riley plays or grooms the kitten and continues this acceptance. Once this is sustained, you can join in. But mention RILEY'S name whenever you interact with the kitten so he continues to feel connected and number 1.”
Lynn felt they'd be able to follow my intro and Gary mentioned they could refer to my book THE TOTAL CAT for reinforcement. They thanked me for the session and Riley rolled around in the catnip I sprinkled on tissue paper and gave a sudden meow. I interpreted that as Riley's thank you for his session. We'd known each other since '94 so Riley felt I was indeed his advocate and for me it was an honor.
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A CAT COMPANION FOR BABY
Hello,
My old man cat, Arthur, yowls most every evening after my husband and I go to bed at night. It is so sad to hear..... and I call him and sometimes he comes into our room and stops the YOWLS...other times he just continues it for about 10-15 minutes then he quits altogether......We have another dominate 5 yr old Maine coon and I use to think that Slaggie (Maine coon, also male) was aggravating/ intimidating him...but Arthur seems to do this even when Slaggie is in the room with us.........I just don't want to think he is getting an acute illness or perhaps feline dementia?? Please help us!! Click on to “Contests” at the top of this page, and then click on to “MEN AND THEIR CATS” to find out about the new contest.
My cat, Baby, will soon be 15 years old—but she's in pretty good shape for an old girl. She started out as an only child until she was 4 when I moved into an apartment with a former college roommate that had a cat. The cats harassed each other and fought but eventually got used to one another, and became like siblings. When the newer cat, Stanley, died 6 years later, Baby obviously mourned for him and then became much more hungry for attention. Now, I can't go anywhere or do anything without her underfoot or on top of me. I love her more than anything and want her to be happy for the rest of her precious life. I'm wondering how she might react to a new adult companion cat. Do you think she would adjust to having a new friend or do you think she would be devastated? I thought maybe a new friend would keep her company and make her become a little more active. Please let me know what you think.
~ Thank you, Samantha
Dear Guardian Samantha,
Yes, I agree with you. Baby would probably be rejuvenated with a kitten. Why not adopt a male about four months old. Try to get a kitten with the same coloring as Stanley. Cats can detect color by its scent and a kitten the color of Stanley would smell favorably and familiar to Baby. You can use my introduction in my treatment for Riley. Good luck to you and Baby.
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NIGHTIME CRYING BY ARTHUR
~ SLEEPLESS
Dear Sleepless,
You mention Arthur is up there in years. It's most important to rule out a thyroid or other medical problem that may be the cause of Arthur's distress. So please have his health checked out. If Arthur's cries are triggered by stress, you might want to make him comfortable in a small room at bedtime. Do it with affection and tell him he'll be safe in this cozy space. He may cry the first few nights but he'll soon realize he is safe. When morning arrives, you can take him in to bed with you for a few winks and hugs. Also, check out his diet when you take him in for a check up.
March 8, 2005
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REMI RALLIES
What a terrific surprise when Lynn phoned me on Monday. ''Carole, Remi is still with us. He perked up suddenly and made it clear he wasn't ready or willing to go. What a gift,'' Lynn added. She knew it would be a day at a time but each day was more than they'd hoped for. I told Lynn how happy I was for all of them and maybe Remi's rally would linger on. Their love would certainly help to keep him around.
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SPAYED AND NEUTERED AGE
Hello,
I am in desperate need of help. I have a 4 years old Persian who loves to scratch on the corners of my couch. He has a scratching post but doesn't use it. I thought the problem might be that it's too short for him so I purchased one of the big, fancy, expensive posts with the perches, house, the whole nine yards. Anyway he is terrified of it and won't even come out of the bedroom since I got it two days ago. He hasn't eaten or had a drink and I am at my wits end as to what to do. Do you have any suggestions, as I really want him to get used to it and use it instead of my furniture? Thank you, Iris Click on to “Contests” at the top of this page, and then click on to “MEN AND THEIR CATS” to find out about the new contest. CAROLE APPEARS ON "THE GASTINEAU GIRLS" STARTING FEBRUARY 15TH! More and more men are becoming smitten with cats. They are no longer just a female or family companion. I'd like to find out from you guys why you decided to live with a cat and how your cat inspires you and makes you feel good. Entries should not exceed 100 words. Deadline is May 1.
I would like to know, how old does a male or female cat have to be before he or she can be spayed or neutered? I plan to be getting a kitten soon. Thank you for your time, I hope to hear from you soon.
~ Roxanne C.
Dear Guardian Roxanne:
A male is usually neutered at about seven or eight months. But if the urine takes on a strong scent and the male's behavior becomes very aggressive, the surgery can be done sooner. A female can be spayed about the same age or after the first heat. Many shelters spay and neuter young kittens to prevent potential breeding after they are adopted. Your veterinarian can give you additional advice when taken for an exam. My book, THE TOTAL CAT, will also fill you in on this subject. Best of luck with your new kitten'.
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SCRATCHING POST ANGST
Dear Guardian Iris:
You might want to call your veterinarian to make sure your cat hasn't developed a medical problem. But it does seem that the new post has spooked your cat.
Offer him his favorite food or treats in the bedroom and make sure that his litter box is nearby until he's secure enough to venture about. Give him a sprinkling of catnip to relax him and lots of praise. If he likes to be brushed, go to it. A brushing or combing will soothe his body and spirit. When he finally appears calm and can sustain this feeling, fee him across the room from the new post. Slowly move the food closer to the post within the next few days. You could also sprinkle catnip on the post and play with him nearby. Finally, put his food on the base of the post and stroke him as he eats. All of these tips will create a pleasant association with his new post. Remember to relax your body so you don't add to his angst. Repetition, patience and time will ease his fear. Remember to give him much, much praise when he scratches the post. Good luck,
Iris.
» APPEARANCES
Carole appears in Episode One of Entertainment TV's new reality show, The
Gastineau Girls, which premieres at 10:00 PM on February 15th, and will air
a number of times that week. Check it out. Visit http://www.eonline.com/On/GastineauGirls/Schedule/index.html for the
schedule and show information.
SATURDAY, APRIL 23, 2005, 2:00 PM
Carole and feline assistants will present a free introductory session of "How to Talk to Your Cat", at the Cliffside Public Library, New
Jersey.
"HOW TO TALK TO YOUR CAT" AT 92ND STREET Y IN JULY
Carole will present her seminar "How To Talk To Your Cat" at the 92nd Street
Y in Manhattan, on Wednesday, July 13, 2005, from 6:30 to 8:00 PM. This class was just agreed upon, so it isn't on their web site yet, but
should appear there shortly. Visit http://www.92y.org later for tickets,
location, etc.
» NEW CONTEST - "MEN AND THEIR CATS"
1st prize - "I am my cat's guardian" short-sleeved t-shirt, IDA commuter mug, IDA greeting cards set.
2nd prize - "I am my cat's guardian" short-sleeved t-shirt, IDA commuter mug.
3rd prize - a black canvas IDA logo tote bag, IDA license plate frame.
Email your entries to THECATTHERAPIST@IDAUSA.ORG.
» For MORE INFO, ask the cat therapist
