Don't miss out. You owe it to your cat/s. Scan photos to thecattherapist@idausa.org

Click on to Fabulous Felines and you'll see why this is a Feline Must!

Cat guardians, There is a new addition to CATS ON THE COUCH. Click on to TESTIMONIALS and read all about Winston and his rescue.

If you have a question guardians, please send an email to Carole. Scroll down to see my column. I can't answer every email I receive, so please check the archives. Your answer may be already there.

» COLOSSAL CAT ENERGY EXTENDED

Mid-Manhattan Library

I recently gave a cat therapy program at the Mid-Manhattan Library. What a joy it was to see so many, many feline guardians. I couldn't have any live feline guests so, Ebony, my robotic black cat was my stand-in. In fact Ebony was such a hit that on a return appearance, the librarians are almost certain that a couple of cats in the flesh can be invited. Yes, there are those cats that travel well and thrive on admiration and praise from a large group. Cats and libraries are a perfect duo. I look forward to meeting you along the library circuit.

MEN AND THEIR CATS CONTEST

Winners will be announced in the next column!

Testimonials

Thank you for sending along your testimonials. It lets other guardians know that their cat questions can be solved and lets me know that my column is helping cats to leave the couch.

CAROLE'S SPEAKING APPEARANCES 

How To Talk To Your Cat
Meet the Cat Therapist Carole Wilbourn
April 29, 2006 at 1:30 p.m.
Nutley Public Library
Drive Nutley, NJ 07110 973-667-0405
Click for details

Your Cat Wants You to Know....
Riverdale Library
May 18, 2006 7pm
93 Newark Pompton Turnpike
Riverdale, NJ 07457
973-835-5044
Click for details

MEN AND THEIR CATS CONTEST FINALE

The winners will be announced in my next column. Men, thank you so very much for your entries. They have added a very special element of genuine "cat loving" to my column. More and more male guardians have become ailurophiles, but it's not always easy for them to express their love and kinship with their cats—so, we all, at IDA thank you.

FABULOUS FELINES

Don't miss out. You owe it to your cat/s. Scan photos to thecattherapist@idausa.org

Click on to Fabulous Felines and you'll see why this is a Feline Must!

TESTIMONIALS

Cat guardians, There is a new addition to CATS ON THE COUCH. Click on to TESTIMONIALS and read all about Winston and his rescue.

If you have a question guardians, please send an email to Carole. Scroll down to see my column. I can't answer every email I receive, so please check the archives. Your answer may be already there.

STROLL WITH YOUR CATS

There's a perfect and fun way to safely enjoy the outdoors with your cats. Click on to thecattherapist.com and then to Kittywalk

CAT TALK

CAT TALK is now available. Find out what your cat is TRYING TO TELL YOU. So guardians, lick on to the Cat Store.

CAROLE'S NEWSLETTER—"THE WILBOURN WAY"

The Wilbourn Way Newsletter is Carole's free email newsletter, which brings you Carole's personal view on cat culture monthly. Click on to her website for more details.

OUR CATS REJECT MY HUSBAND

Dear Carole,
I am in desperate need of help. My husband and I are the guardians of two wonderful devon rexes, Norm and Gollee. My husband is allergic to most animals, so when we found a breed of cats that he could live with we were ecstatic. Unfortunately, they don't seem to feel the same way-at least about him. While they both follow at my heels and regularly "talk" to me and cuddle with me, they treat my husband as their enemy. When I am not home they will hide from him, and when I am home they will keep me as a barrier between themselves and him. When he tries to talk to them or pet them, they look at him like he is nuts or run away at top speed. They even refuse to take treats from him!! He has never done anything to hurt them and is absolutely heartbroken about this.

We have followed every bit of advice we could find on how to resolve this situation, but nothing seems to help. My husband has taken on all the "care" duties including feeding them and cleaning their litterbox, and the two of us have sat on the floor attempting to engage them in play, but nothing has helped. After three months, they continue to treat him as a stranger, and he continues to get more and more frustrated and depressed. I would never give up my little boys, but on the other hand my relationship with them really hurts my husband and is causing problems between us. We don't know what else we can do. Please help us! Thank you.

Susie

Dear Guardian Suzie:
What a let-down! But let's see what we can do to remove the barriers. Perhaps your cats sense your husband's residual angst. By that I mean his allergy to most cats. Although he's not allergic to them, he's still allergic to the average cat and his body may release that energy. Also, he may be trying too hard to win their affection. Can't say I blame him. It's hard not to fall in love with cats and long for their acceptance. But, sometime time takes time. The more you become his tension target, the more he will become your cats' tension target. I can understand why he's upset with you—but they don't and it adds to their rejection of him. So—here are some suggestions to slowly build a husband—cat friendly relationship: ?He can continue to present their treats but he should do so when you're nearby. Perhaps, you two can sit on the floor and he can place the treats next to the two of you. Remind your husband to keep breathing and not to address them but talk to you. He can use you as their bridge to him. It may be a slow passage but the transference should happen. ?He shouldn't call out to them or try to get their attention. Rather, he should be seductive. He can wave or dangle a toy without looking at them. The less he tries to attract them, the more they'll want to respond. He can play hard to get! ?Some lavender potpourri will add a soothing feeling to your environment. A dab of your cologne or body lotion or powder on your husband's bathrobe might remind them of you.

Good things often come to those who wait. A cat's patience is a fine example of this. Let your husband know how much you want to be a foursome. If you need more help, click on to my site . I'm available for phone consults and home visits.

INDOOR CAT V.S. OUTDOOR CAT

Hello Carole,
I have two neutered male cats. My oldest, Tigger, (4yrs) enjoys staying out as much as possible and only comes home when starving. The youngest, Pooh, (3yrs), is attached to us. He wants to be where we are always. The problem is that since Tigger is gone for most of the time, Pooh sees him as an intruder when he does come home. Pooh picks on poor Tigger who just wants to eat and sleep. Now Pooh has escalated to urinating in our room as a show of unhappiness. What should I do to Pooh to help him get along with Tigger? Tigger has been staying at the neighbors and seems to want nothing to do with us unless he is truly hungry and tired.
Sad Guardian

Dear Sad Guardian:
I hope Tigger goes outdoors in an enclosed area and also has i.d. It's very sad that Pooh sees him as an intruder—especially since Tigger is the older cat. Pooh's indiscriminate urination is probably a symptom of angst—but a vet check may be needed. If Tigger is happy at your neighbor's home and the feeling is mutual, perhaps he can reside there. When he returns to your house, you can escort him next door. Talk it over with your neighbor. Sometimes the most obvious solution is best. It would be terrific if you could remedy this situation quickly but I don't feel that's possible and time is of the essence.

A COMPANION FOR MY MALE CAT

Hello Carole,
I have a male cat around three years old. I am looking to adopt a companion cat for him as I am gone a lot and he gets very lonely. I am getting so much conflicting information. I'm a little hesitant on two males as I hear that males tend to spray more than females and a male can still spray even after he is neutered. Please help with your expertise. I am desperate.
Thank you, Tania

Dear Guardian Tania, blue
It would be easier to introduce a kitten because it would be a quicker acceptance. A kitten is usually more flexible and determined to connect. Yes, a neutered male can still spray (spayed females can too but usually less) but such spraying is usually symptomatic of anxiety and there are other symptoms such as aggression or indiscriminate litter box habits that can also occur. A relationship can be a mixed blessing.

An adolescent male or female that prefers cats to people would also be a good choice. A cat determines color by scent so an adoptee similar to your cat's coloring would smell familiar and comfortable. You could adopt an older spayed or neutered cat but you'd have to be very sure that this cat adored cats and would reach out to your cat before you. If not, jealousy and hostility would spark and time would take time to kindle this angst. You can refer to my archives for the introduction. Click on to 3/22/05. My books, CAT TALK and THE TOTAL CAT, (click on to my site www.thecattherapist.com) will also be of help. Good luck on your match!