Carole is available for bi-coastal house calls, speaking engagements anywhere, phone consults nationally and internationally. She also sees patients by appointment at Westside Veterinary Center in Manhattan. Her latest book is The Complete Guide To Understanding And Caring For Your Cat. Her recently released CD of spoken cat advice and soothing music is Caring For Your Cat, The Wilbourn Way.
Come back to Carole's home page monthly for cat news and Carole's most recent replies to behavior inquiries from worried cat guardians. To have this home page emailed to you after the story update, click here. You will receive this exact page by email, and it will link you to the other pages in her site, and to the rest of the IDA web site.
CATS ON THE COUCH, May '09
THE MESSAGE IS IN THE SUBTEXT
IT'S BREAK TIME
As I looked at Orion looking out the window, I looked at my day. The morning had been chock full of cat consults and writing, but now I had a break. Orion seemed so involved. But perhaps it was his way of saying "it's time to take me to the park. You need a break and so do I."
EQUAL OPPORTUNITY IN THE WHITE HOUSE
(Orion, a former rescue, will represent cats and offer nuggets of wisdom regarding the future rescued First Dog—a Portuguese Water Dog.)
BO'S FIRST MONTH ANNIVERSARY
Orion is pleased that Bo has settled in with the First Family as well as any "dog" could. But Orion is looking forward to the day when Bo will be the Spokes Dog at an event to benefit homeless animals. He could add his dignified presence to local blessings for the animals to mark his first month’s anniversary at the White House.
Bo's addition to the First Family makes him a natural role model to spread the word that companion animals are members of the family. Orion is sure that you agree.
LUCY IS TERRIFIED OF LANTZ
Hello Carole,
Our two cats are Lucy and Lantz. Lucy's spayed, and Lantz's neutered. We've had Lucy for 13 years. Her sister died of cancer in January. Last month we adopted Lantz, who is about five years old, from a local rescue group. Lantz is very smart and affectionate with us. But the plot darkens whenever he gets anywhere near Lucy. She hisses and growls, while he remains calm and collected; however, his tail very briefly puffs up. She's clearly frightened of Lantz and on the defensive. There's no way that they'll ever become friends if Lucy remains so fearful. We don't want to give Lantz up, but Lucy has to come first. Do you have any suggestions on how we can work this out?
Shirley & Charlie B.
Florida
Hello Guardians Shirley & Charlie,
So sorry about Lucy's late sister. It's been a rough transition for the three of you. Let's hope Lantz can win Lucy over. We need to build up her confidence so Lantz becomes an intrigue instead of a threat. Let's get Lucy used to experiencing tolerance and trust at a distance. Otherwise, she will continue to react whenever Lantz approaches her. The following tips will help to pave the way:
- Arrange some daily intervals where one of you sits with Lucy, and the other hangs out nearby with Lantz. Don't try to talk them into being friends. Keep the conversation light.
- When they become too restless, it's time to stop, separate them, and repeat at the next interval.
- Set up expandable doggie or baby gates at the entrance to the room where Lantz is kept so they can view each other without physical contact. There may be lots of hissing and screaming. Place their food a few feet from the gates so they can't avoid each other. If you already have this set up, you're ahead of the game.
- Always mention Lucy's name whenever you interact with Lantz so she feels included and still number one. If she feels out of control, her reactions will reflect her angst.
It may take a few weeks for them to feel comfortable with the daily intervals. At this point, you can engage them in play with an enticing toy, including catnip. Remember to wind down and end the interval before they become overstimulated or agitated. You want to avoid a setback. With repetition and assurance, the prognosis is wide open for a friendly relationship.
SEEKING COMPANION FOR MATURE SINGLE MALE
Hi Cat Therapist,
I have a 12 1/2-year-old polydactyl, gray, neutered male named Smoky with a very laid back disposition. He gets along fine with female cats, but I'm thinking of adopting a male Siamese kitten to keep him company. Would there be too much rivalry with a male kitten?
Thanks,
Kelly M.
Hi Guardian Kelly,
Smoky sounds like a cool cat. With his mellow disposition and huge paws, he should be able to handle any feline that comes his way. A kitten of either gender would be very entertaining. But since you know female cats are on his "A" list, it may be that he is smitten with mature females. So why not present Smokey with a "femme fatale" so he can live out his fantasy. You can check out my January '09 column in the archives for my introduction.
MY MALE CAT IS A TERRORIST
Hi Carole,
My neutered male goes after my roommate's spayed female, and there seems no way will he stop. What's your feeling about hitting cats? We've tried drenching him with the plant mister and startling him with loud noises to no avail.
Stephen
Hi Guardian Stephen,
Hitting cats is as out of the question as herding cats. Aside from being morally and physically abusive, your cat's resentment toward his cat mate would only increase. Why increase his wrath! Think about it, Stephen. He may be upset by any attention you give to the other cat. The boundaries become blurred. When you must interact with his cat mate, keep your cat in the loop verbally. Mention his name, and look his way even if he's in another room. He's keeping score. Maybe he can't see you or even hear you, but he can sense your "betrayal." Your roommate should follow the same treatment plan with her cat. Time and repetition should clear the air.
A TRIBUTE TO MY LORI
Hi Carole Wilbourn,
I have followed the Wilbourn Way of understanding and respecting my cats' behavior and thank you for the many upsets that were solved or prevented. Your insight on coping with "the end" has been so helpful. Most recently, Lori, my matriarchal cat, has passed on. She was nineteen years old and had often been my pillar of strength and joy. I would like to make a tribute in her memory that would make a difference in the cat and animal world. What might you suggest?
Thank you for your help,
C.G.
Hi C.G.,
On behalf of IDA, we're very sorry about your Lori but glad you have her memory to cherish. I'm so delighted that you and your cats have been helped by the Wilbourn Way and appreciate your letting me know. As with Lori, companion animals are being treated more and more as members of the family. IDA is a strong advocate of this social distinction and dedicated to carrying out the powerful idea of the companion animal-guardian bond. May I suggest that as Lori's guardian, a donation to IDA's Guardian Campaign would be a treasured tribute to her memory and significantly contribute to spreading the word that animal companions are family-not property. For more information, you can refer to IDA’s home page-www.idausa.org. I know you will agree that you are a guardian, and Lori was a beloved part of your family and not merely an object or commodity. Thank you for being such a caring and devoted guardian.
QUESTIONS TO CAROLE
Please consult with your veterinarian first to make certain that your animal companion's problem is not due to any medical condition.
If you have a question for Carole, you can email her at thecattherapist@idausa.org. We're sorry that Carole won’t be able to answer all questions, but the answers to many questions can be found in her IDA archives.
Oscar the Cat Predicts Death
Oscar is the feline resident at a nursing home in Providence, Rhode Island who seems to have predicted the deaths of 25 of the residents. In case after case, when he has curled up next to someone, it usually means they have less than four hours of life left. I was interviewed about Oscar by NBC-TV. Read all about Oscar on their site. To watch my video, click here.
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