Carole is available for bi-coastal house calls, international phone consults and her current book is THE TOTAL CAT (Quill). She also sees appointments at Westside Veterinary Center in Manhattan. Subscribe to Carole's free newsletter on her website by clicking onto www.thecattherapist.com/wilbourn_way.htm

My column will appear online the second week of every month.
If you have a question guardians, please send an email to Carole. Scroll down to see my column. I can't answer every email I receive, so please check the archives. Your answer may be already there.

I didn't expect to keep her. She was just a cat I worked with at Westside Vet Center, where I'm in residence. I knew she wanted to be an "only cat," but my cat, Ziggy-Star-Dust, had lived with a Siamese, so she could stay with him until I found the very right home for her. But more bouts of another chronic, incurable illness set in—so she stayed on. That was ten years ago.

I had named her Diana in honor of Diana the archer and Goddess of Women and the Moon. She needed strength, along with her inborn dignity and elegance.
When I realized she was with us to stay, she became Diana-Moon-Dust. Star-Dust, my once feral cat, was still somewhat feral, so he didn't mind when company doted on Diana or she joined me in my appearances. They lived together until five years ago when he was fatally stricken with renal failure. 

Three years ago Diana was given six months to live. A carcinoma of her pancreas, which was inoperable, was added to her other ailments. But Diana had no intentions of leaving this planet—if she could help it. There were a few serious set-backs, but Diana rallied. 
But October 3rd was her time. She went gently and joined Star-Dust. I miss her but I am grateful for the time we had together and the love and wisdom she so generously gave to me. It was Diana's legacy.

Carole,

We have two cats. Toro is a male 14-month-old and McCoy is a 7-month-old. We got McCoy back in June when he was two months old and Toro was 10 months old.
Before we got McCoy, Toro had been sleeping peacefully in our bed for four months or so. When we got McCoy, who had a lot of health problems, particularly digestive ones, we kept him in the bathroom with his own creature comforts for a month or so. During that time Toro still slept on the bed but he left the room a lot more and constantly seemed on alert. Once the two had adjusted to each other, they were very playful and affectionate, but we had to start shutting them out of the room for portions of or all of the night. Another twist was that Toro was diagnosed with a grain allergy, so we stopped leaving a small bowl of dry food out at night, which used to allow them to snack and avoid bothering us in bed when they were hungry. Now we are far from the peaceful nights we used to have. We usually leave the door open at the beginning of the night, and they'll lay down peacefully for half an hour or so. Then McCoy will start attacking us under the covers or running around the room and bouncing off the walls. Toro will chase him around the room and they'll fight. We'll get them both out of the room and shut the door.

It will be quiet for an hour or so, but around 3 a.m.-4 a.m., they'll come and throw themselves against the door for hours at a time. 

Sometimes we open the door hoping that will give us some peace, but often we just try to "ignore" the banging. If we do let them in, they go crazy again. We spray McCoy with water, and that usually gets him out, but Toro is a different story.

Formerly peaceful and more "adult-acting," now he'll move from my end table to my husband's end table, chew on lamps or cords, and knock our cell phones to the ground. As soon as we try to get him, he'll hide under the bed where we can't reach.

We've been sleeping so badly that we're almost at the end of our rope. They're really well-behaved, playful, and sweet during the day, and of course, they sleep a lot of the day, often in the bed. We play with them for at least 20 minutes every day and spray Feliway in the bedroom and outside the door. I've put the bitter apple spray all over the things Toro chews.

We need help! We love them both so much, and they're really a part of the family, but we need some sleep! Thanks in advance for all of your help.

Attached is a picture of our naughty guys.
 
Christine
Richmond, Calif.

Dear Guardian Christine:

You poor tortured guardians. Your guys are quite the lookers. Now we have to get them to be quite the sleepers.

It's more than clearly obvious that, for now, you can't spend the night with your cats. They're filled with angst which is destroying your sleep and I don't want your relationship to be destroyed. Sleepless nights can breed resentment.

PRE-BEDTIME MEASURES
1. You might try to tire them out with some hearty play before bedtime, but be sure to wind them down slowly before you end the session. 

2. A small snack of food with 1/4 tsp of ground chamomile tea leaves might help to relax them. 

3. Perhaps a brushing would soothe their senses. 
If there's no RELIEF, sequester them in a room with their comforts. Tell them it's their private playroom for the night, you'll see them in the morning and close the door. Yes, they may complain for a few nights but soon they will accept it as their nocturnal haven. You can sequester them at bedtime or wait until they act out. If they don't, happy foursome!

Hi there, Carole,

I am a typical cat lover! I have three cats whom I adore!!! I am about to move in with my boyfriend who likes my cats but definitely doesn't love my cats. He hates cat hair. He doesn't want the cats in the bedroom. I currently sleep with my cats...I always have and personally love this time together. My oldest cat is fourteen and I usually spoon her every night. This has caused a lot of fights in my relationship with my boyfriend.

His compromise to this situation is to allow one cat to sleep with us but not under the sheets (not sure how this would be controlled). Is this a fair request? How will this affect my cats mentally? I am really not sure how to handle this situation. All I know is that I am devastated. I've slept with my cats since I was a little girl and giving it up would be so hard! Any advice you could give me would be greatly appreciated!

Many thanks, 
Leah 

Dear Guardian Leah,

I would never stand for such a demand. If he insists, tell him you will spend half the night with him and the other half or more with your cats. If space is an issue, get twin beds. Your motto could be, "love me, love my cats!”

Dear Carole Wilbourn:

When I was stationed in Iceland I picked up a stray cat and brought her to the states with me. I named her Chelsea. That was 19 years ago and she is still going strong. The vet says she is healthy, although several months ago she suddenly went blind. Over the years she has also become deaf. She is still using her litter box and finds her food and water with no problems.

Chelsea has always been an indoor cat, and always slept with me, on my pillow, above my head. In June I went on vacation for a week. During that week the house sitter did not remember to give Chelsea water every day. When I arrived home, I found Chelsea lying by the water dish panting, her eyes had sunk in a bit, and she was severely dehydrated.

The vet had us push water into her by syringe for a day, and she appeared to recover very well. However, she has now begun exhibiting this new behavior that is about to drive me completely out of my mind. She gets up every 5 minutes or so, jumps down from the bed, goes and eats and drinks. Sometimes she uses the box. She then climbs back up into the bed and starts yowling, deep, long, heart wrenching yowls that last for about three minutes. She will eventually settle down and almost immediately begin the cycle over again. I can't tell you the last night I had a full night’s sleep. Even with ear plugs it is incredibly loud. 
My roommate has suggested that Chelsea may be in some pain, but the vet says that she has absolutely nothing wrong with her, aside from possible senility.

I love my cat, and have loved her for a very long time. I fear that the next suggestion will be to have her humanely put to sleep, but I just can't see doing that.

It is difficult to play with her because she can't see toys, but I do try to spend at least a half hour to hour per day comforting and petting her. She lives in my bedroom, and I attempt to keep the other dogs and cats out of that room, except at night when I allow my kitten to sleep with us. 

I have had the kitten since May, and the new behavior started about a month and a half after the kitten joined my family. 

Any suggestions you may have would be welcome.

Lori 

Dear Guardian Lori:

Your Chelsea's behavior may be a result of a need for water and kitten angst. Ask the vet about giving Chelsea fluids under the skin or keep water by the bed within reach. Make sure Chelsea knows it's there. Her water obsession has been triggered by the house sitter's error. It would be best if the kitten slept with your roommate or with the other cats—unless Chelsea prefers to sleep with her. Also, include Chelsea by name verbally whenever you interact with kitten so she doesn't feel left out.

My book, THE TOTAL CAT, will give extensive info on this subject. Chelsea sounds like a super marvelous cat.

Thanks for being so concerned about her welfare.

Dear Carole,

Hi, my cat Minnie was spayed 2 years ago at about 9 months old. She was a kitten I found in the woods at college that I took home. We didn't realize how old she was since she was very small. She went into her first heat and got spayed right after that. Now just about 2 years later, which started about 2 days ago, is showing signs of being in heat. Is it possible for her ovaries to grow back? She's got her rear in the air, the tail goes to the side, she’s meowing and making the other noise they do, and she walks very low to the ground. Can you help us please?! Is it possible after 2 years for a cat to go back into heat like this?

Thank you, 
Michelle

Dear Guardian Michelle,

There's a possibility that your Minnie may have some retained ovarian tissue that wasn't removed during her surgery. Schedule an appointment with the vet for a conclusive answer. Good luck!

TESTIMONIALS

Thank you for sending along your testimonials. It lets other guardians know that their cat questions can be solved and lets me know that my column is helping cats to leave the couch.

Fabulous Felines

Don't miss out. You owe it to your cat/s. Scan photos to thecattherapist@idausa.org

Click on to Fabulous Felines and you'll see why this is a Feline Must!

Testimonials

Cat guardians, There is a new addition to CATS ON THE COUCH. Click on to TESTIMONIALS and read all about Winston and his rescue.

If you have a question guardians, please send an email to Carole. Scroll down to see my column. I can't answer every email I receive, so please check the archives. Your answer may be already there.

Stroll With Your Cats

There's a perfect and fun way to safely enjoy the outdoors with your cats. Click on to thecattherapist.com and then to Kittywalk

Cat Talk

CAT TALK is now available. Find out what your cat is TRYING TO TELL YOU. So guardians, click on to the Cat Store.

Carole's Newsletter - "The Wilbourn Way"

The Wilbourn Way Newsletter is Carole's free email newsletter, which brings you Carole's personal view on cat culture monthly..

Molly Of Myers Keswick Is Rescued

"Oh come on Molly you can do it," said cat therapist Carole Wilbourn. 

(© MMVI, CBS Broadcasting Inc. All Rights Reserved.)
Cat therapist Carole Wilbourn used the sounds of whales on tape and catnip to try and lure Molly out Wednesday. CBS

Feral Cats

Saturday, September 9, in San Francisco, the third annual National Feral Cat Summit will take place. You don't want to miss the only conference in the U.S. devoted exclusively to feral cats. Click on to neighborhoodcats.org for details.

Feral Cats

Each day we strive to give our cats the very best care. Helping feral cats is a valuable and wonderful way to extend social response to Neighborhood Cats can be your source of assistance.

You may even be the guardian of a feral cat—so you're aware of the beauty they possess. My late cat, Ziggy-Star-Dust was a feral kitten and the cure for my anxious, reformed attack cat, Sunny-Blue. After Sunny passed-on, Star-Dust took on many of his Sunny's traits—particularly, Sunny's Siamese cry. He was nine years old at the time but lived until seventeen. He taught me so many things, including patience and loyalty.

There is a chapter on feral cats in my book, THE TOTAL CAT, click on to my site, thecattherapist.com, for more info. You can also refer to the archives for my column, click on to Archives at top of page. There are articles from 11/04, 1/05, 11/15/05.

Let us all be socially responsible for feral cats on behalf of our own cats.

Remember, please add a picture of your cat along with your cat questions.

» CAROLE'S NEWSLETTER--THE WILBOURN WAY"